


Could we talk for awhile

by Wle0416



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Talking, Flirting, M/M, Malex Secret Santa 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:42:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27909940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wle0416/pseuds/Wle0416
Summary: Alex and Michael have an impromptu reunion years after a failed summer romance.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 29
Kudos: 106
Collections: 12 Days Of Malex 2020





	Could we talk for awhile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aewriting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aewriting/gifts).



> The lovely [ aewriting ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aewriting/pseuds/aewriting) was looking for an AU that's a little salty and sweet, and has eventual Malex back together. I hope you like this 😊
> 
> Title is from the Got You (Where I Want You) from The Flys.

If there was one thing Michael could never shake, no matter how hard he tried, it was Alex Manes. The boy showed up in his dreams all the time, hazy memories of their one memorable summer replaying on an endless loop in his subconscious, leaving him dizzy and empty when he woke up in the morning alone.

He never missed the hard, uncomfortable bed of his truck, but he did miss the cool, strong arms of Alex wrapped around his waist and anchoring him in place that fateful summer.

It had been over five years since he and Alex had called it quits on their short-lived romance, and even longer since they'd seen one another. Michael had been spending that summer with the Evans' twins in Roswell, after finishing high school in Santa Fe, and the two met one evening at The Crashdown Café and spent nearly the entire summer together, much to the chagrin of his siblings.

At summer's end, Michael set off for Albuquerque and a scholarship at UNM, while Alex had fled the New Mexico state lines to pursue a music career in Los Angeles. Last he heard in passing from Max, Alex was doing well in the Golden State.

Michael wished things could have been different for them, but as spectacularly as they'd come together, their parting was awful. Names and accusations masking their teenage insecurities.

They'd met as strangers and left as such. Never contacting one another in the ensuing years.

And then he saw him.

Isobel had insisted that she come up the weekend before spring break and spend some time with her often busy brother. He hated that he was so busy and didn't have as much time for his siblings, but between grad school and his part-time job at a local market, there was no time for socializing, and he struggled to keep up with the few friends he did have.

The weekend with Isobel had been fantastic, and he hated seeing her leave. But as he was making the trek back from the parking lot to his apartment after seeing her off, he spotted Alex walking out of apartment 322; a messenger bag slung over his shoulders and a grin gracing his face.

He didn't appear to have seen Michael from the angle he was taking out of the apartment and down the stairs, and Michael froze on the sidewalk, unsure whether he should let him walk out of his life (again) or call out to him.

Alex got all the way to a nondescript black sedan almost halfway across the parking lot, when Michael finally took a leap of faith. "Alex!"

The dark-haired man looked around for a second, searching for the voice. He squinted, trying to make out the man on the sidewalk. Michael could tell when it registered for him, as his face twisted into a resigned frown.

"Guerin?"

Michael waved sheepishly before sticking his hands into his blue jeans and walking toward Alex. As he approached him, the first thing he noticed was how fit Alex had gotten. Alex was always in shape, but his tight black shirt and gray joggers left little to the imagination. His arms were buff, and his face was more chiseled than he remembered. His hair had some length to it, but it was devoid of any products. The eyeliner and nail polish Michael had once loved were gone, but to Michael, Alex had never looked better than in that moment.

"I thought that was you," Michael said gently.

Alex's face was still more annoyed and cautious than happy, but his voice betrayed him, as it often used to. "I can't believe this."

"You can't believe what?"

"That-that you're here," Alex stammered out.

Michael laughed softly. "You remember I was going to UNM, right?"

For the first time since he'd laid eyes on Michael, Alex's face changed, the tiniest bit of a smile peeking through. "Yes, I know. But I thought you would have graduated by now. Gone off to do big things far away from New Mexico."

"I'm in graduate school. So, you're in town?" Michael's stomach did a mini somersault.

"Uh, yeah," Alex said, swaying slightly on his heels. "I have a gig downtown tomorrow night. And my uh, my friend, Kyle, his cousin goes to UNM and apparently lives in the same apartment complex as you. So, we're staying here for a couple of days."

There was something in the way Alex stumbled on mentioning his "friend" that had Michael internally spiraling a bit, but he kept it together somehow. "I'd love to hear you play."

"Oh yeah, yes. Of course."

Michael smiled back warmly, waiting for him to elaborate on where exactly he would be playing, but he just stared back at Michael, searching his eyes and then briefly allowing himself to look down at Michael's mouth.

"Would you want to text me the venue information?" Michael broke through Alex's trance and saw his face flush.

"Yes, I'm sorry. This is surreal, Michael. I really thought we would never see each other again."

Michael wished he had the courage to step forward and hug Alex, but judging by Alex's reaction to him, it wouldn't be welcome at this moment. "I always hoped our paths would cross sometime."

Alex's hardened features thawed at the soft words, a genuine smile appearing and nearly making Michael's knees buckle. "Do you still have the same number?"

"Nah. Isobel made me get a new phone so that we could text more a few years ago, and I got a new number," Michael replied, pulling the refurbished Samsung out of his back pocket and handing it to Alex. "You can put your number in."

Alex hesitated for a second but ultimately took the phone and plugged in his number. "I'm headed to go pick up some food, but maybe you can text me later?"

"Okay, Alex," Michael said, flashing one final pearly grin and turning on his heels to head for his home.

"Michael?"

He turned his head to see Alex's hand raised. "Bye. It's good to see you."

"You, too."

***

Alex sat in his Ford Fusion rental for a solid twenty minutes after his conversation with Michael. Kyle was blowing his phone up, wondering why it was taking him so long to pick up the food that was only a three-minute ride away.

He wasn't lying when he told Michael he never expected to see him again. Their relationship started hot and heavy and imploded before it got a chance to truly set sail. They'd said a lot of hateful things the night they "broke up," things Alex had regretted every single day since then. But most of all, he hated that they didn't keep in touch.

There were many times over the years that Alex wanted to reach out to Michael and just hear his voice. Michael soothed his mind, body, and soul like no one else he had ever met. When he was stressed, which was a lot of the time, he wondered what Michael would say to help him cope. He had a way with words and a way of making Alex feel like he was heard and accepted.

God, had he missed him. And he didn't even realize how much until he saw him again, and he was close enough to touch his golden skin.

Their history was volatile, and even though time had passed and they'd moved forward with their respective lives, Alex still felt that spark in the pit of his stomach when Michael and his stupid lopsided grin came sauntering toward him.

"I'm in trouble," Alex whispered to himself as he finally put the car in drive and headed to the pizza parlor down the street.

When he got back to the apartment complex, his heart thudded in his chest when he saw Michael's chevy in the lot. If that truck bed could talk, the not suitable for work stories it could tell.

"About time!" Kyle exclaimed when Alex walked back into the apartment. He hurried over to Alex and looked like he wanted to plant a kiss on his cheek, but seemed to catch the overwhelmed look on Alex's face and thought better of it.

"Yeah, sorry. I was talking to Liz," Alex lied without hesitation.

Kyle accepted the answer and brought the food into the small kitchen. His cousin, Naomi, was out for the night, and it was just the two of them for dinner.

Alex wouldn't say he was dreading spending the night alone with Kyle, but he knew they were eventually going to have to have the conversation about what they were. Or, more importantly, what they weren't.

They were neighbors in Los Angeles, and when Alex first got there, Kyle was the only person he knew. They'd grown up together in Roswell until Kyle moved away when they were teens. Then as adults, they learned to navigate a whole new city together. They got along well, laughed, and enjoyed being around one another. Alex was the first person Kyle had come out to about his bisexuality, and Alex was proud to be Kyle's friend and help him in any way he needed him. But things started to get muddied between them when they hooked up a month ago after celebrating Kyle's birthday. Kyle had been hoping things between the two of them were going to progress, but Alex was content with their friendship.

Alex had done all he could to keep them from being alone the past few weeks, but they'd planned to stay at Naomi's for this gig months ago, and he couldn't back out.

He needed to suck it up and tell the medical school student that he didn't feel that thing in your gut that says this man is worth risking it all for.

He knew deep down he'd only ever felt that once.

"Did you want to go out tonight?" Kyle asked as they were cleaning up their plates after engulfing their salads and pizza.

What Alex wanted to do was lay on the couch and get lost in mindless television to dull his brain, if he was honest. "I'm kind of tired."

Kyle looked bothered, his dark eyes narrowing. "It's like eight-o-clock. And I rarely have this many days free in a row."

"And we drove like fourteen hours yesterday," Alex countered. "You can go out if you want."

"No, we can stay in," Kyle said with a little wink.

Alex forced himself to smile, but he turned away quickly and walked out into the main living room, flopping down on the couch. His butt basically crushed his blackberry into the cushion, and when he retrieved it from his pocket, he saw that he had a text from Michael.

**Michael: It's Guerin. Now you have my number.**

**Alex: :)**

**Alex: Look at you texting. I never thought I'd see the day.**

**Michael: You can thank Isobel.**

**Michael: You just missed her. She left this afternoon.**

**Alex: Not sure I'm sorry about that lol. I always thought she hated me.**

**Michael: To be fair she hated everyone**

**Alex: That's true. How's Max?**

**Michael: Broody.**

**Michael: He still talks about Liz at least once a week.**

**Alex: Still???**

**Michael: Still.**

**Alex: She's happy in Denver. I got to visit last summer.**

**Michael: That's great**

Alex wasn't sure what to say back to that. He wanted to continue the conversation, but that seemed like an appropriate place to stop, so he set his phone down on the small coffee table next to the couch and flipped on the television. He could hear Kyle fiddling around in the kitchen, and he knew he should help him finish cleaning up, but he couldn't will himself off the couch once he sat down. He promised himself he would wash every other dish for the length of his stay here.

He settled on a documentary about national disasters when he heard his phone buzz on the table.

**Michael: It was really good to see you**

**Alex: I know. I told you that first :P**

**Michael: You looked like you wanted to murder me at first**

**Alex: I was just surprised**

**Alex: I haven't set foot in New Mexico in over a year**

**Michael: I'm glad you got out**

Alex blinked at his phone, making sure he read the words correctly. Michael was less than pleased when Alex told him he was thinking about moving to Los Angeles. He distinctly remembered the word coward coming out of Michael's mouth on that awful day at Foster's Ranch.

**Alex: You would hate LA**

**Alex: Traffic. And more traffic. Everyone wants to be a movie star**.

**Michael: I don't know if I'd hate it that much**

**Alex: Why's that?**

**Michael: You're there**

"Hey! Is that Liz? You're legit smiling at the screen," Kyle said, settling on the couch next to Alex.

Alex quickly buried his phone in his lap screen side down. "Um, no. A friend."

Kyle noticed how jumpy he was being but still thought he should snuggle up closer to him. Alex tensed up, hands still on the phone in his lap. He wanted to run away, but he owed Kyle more than that. He was his friend, his best friend these days, and a good person. He just wasn't what Alex wanted, and he was doing a disservice to him by not telling him that.

"Look, Kyle, I think we should talk."

***

It had been over an hour since Michael had flirted with his ex-boyfriend, whom he hadn't spoken to in years via text, and had been left with no response.

He wasn't even sure why he said it. He meant it, boy did he mean it, but it was probably not the right way to express it. And it must have thrown Alex off. Michael wondered if he was mad or annoyed at him now, and it killed him.

He looked out his bedroom window that overlooked the parking lot approximately fifteen times to see if Alex's car was still there. He'd been hoping maybe he'd gone out and was driving and couldn't look at his phone. But the car was still sitting there, and the living room lights in apartment 322 were burning bright.

When his phone finally buzzed at 9:45 pm, he practically fell over himself, rushing over to his desk to grab it off the charger.

**Alex: It's only a 12 hour drive**

**Michael: I could do that in my sleep**

**Alex: Remember that time we went to Santa Fe?**

**Alex: You were so annoying about me driving your truck lol**

**Michael: YOU WERE RIDING EVERYONE'S BUTT!!!**

**Alex: That's not true!**

**Michael: You're still the only person I've ever let drive my truck**

**Alex: I feel honored :)**

**Michael: I miss those late night desert drives**

**Michael: It's not the same out here**

**Alex: There's nothing even close in LA. I miss those New Mexico stars**

There were a lot of ridiculously cheesy things Michael wanted to text back, but he decided against it. He didn't want to ruin the tenuous armistice they'd stumbled upon today. He wanted to stay in this little fun bubble a little bit longer.

**Michael: You ever miss more than just the stars?**

**Alex: Honestly?**

**Michael: Yea**

**Alex: No**

**Alex: I don't miss Roswell at all**

**Alex: I miss people but not the place**

**Alex: I miss the good memories**

**Michael: But those are always with you**

**Alex: The bad ones too**

**Alex: It's been a weird day. I'm gonna get some sleep**

**Alex: I'll see you tomorrow?**

**Michael: Definitely**

**Alex: Goodnight, Michael.**

**Michael: Goodnight!**

***

The bar wasn't very crowded, which was expected since it was spring break after all, but Alex was pleased enough at the turnout. He and his bandmates had been traveling mainly up the west coast performing anywhere that would take them, but Trevor's brother had a connection in Albuquerque that was paying well, and the band decided to make a trip of it.

Midnight Riders had become a salvation for Alex since they formed three years ago, and he, Trevor, and Kat had developed a little family. Between them and Kyle, he'd found a new home. But they would never take the place of Liz and Maria, or Michael for that matter.

Michael wasn't there when Alex scanned the bar as he finished setting up his bass guitar and did a quick mic check. They were due to start in about ten minutes, and Alex hurried over to the bar to get a glass of water.

He spotted Kyle, Naomi, and a few of her friends at a table near the back, happily chatting away and enjoying some food. His conversation with Kyle was incredibly awkward. The disappointment radiating off him when Alex told him he wasn't interested in anything beyond a friendship almost made Alex want to cry. He looked positively crushed, and Alex felt horrible, but he knew he couldn't lead Kyle on or give him false hope.

It'd be naïve to think things could ever go back to how it was, but Alex was hopeful with time, they'd be able to find a new normal for their relationship.

"I'm glad to see you're still rocking the eyeliner," Michael's melodic voice hit Alex right in the chest, and he turned around to see the breathtakingly handsome Michael Guerin staring back at him with his voluminous curls shining under the dim lights.

"Hi," Alex hated how breathless he sounded. "Um, I'm glad you made it."

Michael looked embarrassed and just continued smiling. They stayed locked in their stare-off for several more seconds before Kyle descended upon Alex, hands on his shoulder, but eyes steadfast on Michael.

"You've got to get up on the stage now!" He bellowed, looking Michael up and down.

Kyle was striking, especially up close when you got a chance to see his eyes and robust features, and Alex could see Michael sizing Kyle up the same way he was being ogled.

Alex wiggled away from him, awkwardness crowding his own features. "Uh, yeah. I'll talk to you after, Michael."

"Sure thing," Michael replied coolly.

Alex left the men and traipsed across the bar back to the stage. After adjusting to the lighting, there was only one pair of eyes he was interested in seeking out. And they were twinkling back at him.

***

Alex was a vision on stage.

Michael had heard him sing before, often along to the radio while they were driving to parts unknown outside of Roswell, but this was a wholly different experience. Alex's voice was rich, smooth, and the perfect amount of sexy. Michael was in awe, and he couldn't keep his eyes off Alex throughout all three sets.

After their last set, Michael watched Alex make his way through a round of hugs at a table in the back on the opposite side from where he was seated. The guy who interrupted them earlier was eager to envelop Alex in a big hug that Michael could see Alex audibly stiffen at, and if Michael were a betting man, he would assume that guy was Kyle.

Michael couldn't help but be intimidated by the man, as he took in his physique and stupidly perfect mane of hair, but he did his best not to let himself get too bothered by the handsome stranger. He and Alex were nothing to each other at this point. Just old flames reunited by chance, and it wouldn't be fair to impose on whatever he had going on with someone else.

Hadn't Michael told him to leave Roswell and find someone who made him happy since Michael was such crap at it those last few weeks?

A wave of remembrance hit Michael squarely in the gut, and he suddenly wanted to run as far away from Alex as he could. Seeing Alex had been the highlight of the last few years, but he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he hurt him again. Alex was everything good about this soul-sucking, treacherous world, and he deserved to be happy. If he had found that with Mr. Cheekbones, then Michael was not going to ruin it.

He made a move to get up and slip out the door before Alex could notice, but he wasn't quick enough.

"Michael? You're leaving?" Alex's voice stopped Michael dead in his tracks. He turned slowly to see Alex with a confused expression etched on his face.

"Uh, you were with your friends. And I didn't want to intrude on anything," Michael offered up lamely.

Alex shook his head. "You're not intruding. And I was hoping we could spend some time together. Just us."

Michael was caught off-guard, and it must have shown on his face as Alex quickly turned a wicked shade of red and started looking around the bar at anyone but Michael.

"Um, or not. Sorry, I just thought…I don't know what I thought honestly," he mumbled.

"Alex-"

Alex held up his hand to stop Michael from talking and walked past him out the doors of the bar.

Michael trailed after him, shouting for him, though Alex made no move to stop as he began to walk down the sidewalk of an uncrowded city street. "Will you stop, please? Alex!"

When Alex finally whirled around, his face was bustling with anger. But he wasn't crying, Michael thought. At least not yet.

"You were flirting with me last night, right? I didn't imagine that?" Alex demanded.

"No, you didn't."

"Then why did you look repulsed by the idea of spending time alone with me?"

Michael looked down at his shoes, kicking at the uneven payment. "I wasn't repulsed, Alex. I'm not repulsed. I, just… it's just…this is a lot."

"What does that mean?"

Michael brought his eyes back to Alex and threw his hands in the air. "You have a new life now. You have new friends. And whoever the fuck that guy was back at the bar. And seeing you is just everything. And talking to you again…but what's changed here? I'll tell you. Nothing. I've already messed up your life once, and I don't want to do that again."

Alex ran his fingers through his hair, messing up the spiky look he was sporting. "Kyle is nothing. I mean, he's my friend, but that's it. And you didn't mess up my life."

"Didn't I? You didn't care what people thought about you back then. You marched to the beat of your own drum. And then a couple of months with me and you were a different person. I made you insecure. And you were mad all the time. You hated Roswell. You hated me," Michael spoke fast, willing his emotions to stay in check. He felt the wetness burning in his eyes, but he ignored it.

"God, Michael. This is your problem. You think everything is about you! Everything was changing. And everyone was leaving. I didn't want to go to college. I'm not like you. And you know how hard it was for me at home!" Alex was starting to get loud, and Michael was suddenly aware that they were having this very real and very personal argument in the middle of the street in front of an apartment building.

"But we could have been together," Michael whispered. "Look, I'm not trying to fight you, Alex. I'm really not."

Alex huffed a laugh. "What was it you said that day? I'm a coward because I ran away from us."

Michael remembered his words, but the guilt he felt was suddenly drowned out by the anger flowing through his veins. "And you called me a selfish asshole. I guess some things never change."

Alex looked like he wanted to bridge the gap between them, hands reaching out a fraction before he brought them back to his side. Michael was tired, and he walked past Alex, shoulders gingerly touching his, as he walked away from the man he was still hopelessly in love with yet again.

***

"I think Trevor and Kat want to leave around eleven. You going to be ready by then?" Kyle asked, pouring Alex a tall glass of orange juice.

It had been two days since the gig and his big fight with Michael and he and Kyle were due to drive back to LA, following his bandmates who were taking Trevor's oversized Explorer back to the city. He hadn't spoken to Michael since that night, holing up in Naomi's for the most part and only venturing out when Kyle forced him to.

"Uh, yeah. Sure," Alex said softly without taking his eyes off the table.

He heard Kyle sit down in the seat next to him more than he saw it. And the loud sigh that came out snapped his head to attention. "You should talk to him before we leave."

"W-what?"

"The guy from the bar. I'm assuming that was Michael. And I know you don't want to talk to me about it, but you should talk to him."

Alex returned his eyes to the table. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"You're right. I have no idea who that guy is. But in all the years I've known you, I've never seen you like this. You've been practically catatonic. I don't think it's a good idea to leave here without at least having a conversation with the guy." Kyle was always sympathetic and kind, and it was one of the things that Alex had grown to count on from him.

"I doubt he even wants to talk to me," Alex replied softly.

"You won't know that unless you try. And we only have about an hour until we leave, so you better get going." Kyle smiled widely, a genuine one that reached his eyes.

Alex had so many regrets about the way he left Roswell, and if he left without facing Michael again, he'd just be adding to the list. So, he sucked up his pride and decided to walk over to Michael's apartment. He didn't look particularly great, decked out in sweats, and he knew his hair was sticking up all over the place, but Michael had seen him at his absolute worst once upon a time, and this was hardly that.

Once he got outside, he realized he wasn't actually sure which apartment was Michael's.

**Alex: Can we talk?**

**Alex: Please.**

**Michael: I don't want to fight**

**Alex: Then let's not fight**

**Alex: Let's try talking**

The sun was beating on Alex's forehead as he patiently waited for Michael to respond.

**Michael: Ok**

**Alex: Which apartment is yours?**

**Michael: 118**

Alex found 118 quickly, and before he could even knock on the door, Michael opened it. His face was soft, devoid of the anger and hurt that was there last time Alex saw him.

"I don't have much time," Alex remarked as he walked into Michael's place. It was homey inside, the same floor plan as Naomi's, and it smelled like a fresh rainstorm.

Michael led him toward a leather sectional that had seen better days and took up most of the living room. They sat on opposite sides. "Look, Alex, I don't even know what to say at this point. It feels like we're just destined to never be able to figure this thing out between us."

Alex shifted on the leather, angling his body toward his ex. "Why do you push me away?"

"I don't think I do."

"Yes, you do," Alex began, working hard to keep his voice steady and calm. "When I told you I wasn't going to UNM anymore, you just shut down. We still had three weeks left together, and you were so cold to me."

"I was angry, Alex. I know we were moving fast but, but didn't you feel what I was feeling? We were going to be together at school. We'd talked about it all summer, and we made plans," Michael's voice drifted away.

"You made plans, Michael. I always told you I wasn't as sure about school and me."

Michael looked at Alex, eyes full of worry. "You didn't answer my question."

Alex swallowed and started to scoot closer to Michael. "You know I did. I fell in love with you that summer."

"But then you left. And you told me you didn't want to do long distance."

"You called me a coward and told me to go be happy with someone else."

"I was angry when I said that. And that was the last night. You told me right away that you didn't want to do long distance."

Alex continued his journey across the couch. "I don't know. I was stupid, and I thought I was doing you a favor. You're brilliant, Michael. You're brilliant, and you're funny, and you're beautiful. I thought you deserved to go out and find someone special. We just got so swept up in each other, and I didn't want to hold you back. I didn't even know if I would be able to afford a cell phone when I left for LA. I couldn't saddle you with all my crap when you were starting fresh at college."

Michael looked exasperated like the conversation was physically paining him. "I loved you, Alex. I wanted to be a part of your life. I was just angry because you were this good thing. This good thing that meant so much to me, and you were leaving me. Everyone always leaves."

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't do the whole college thing. And that was the best decision for me," Alex said quietly. "It was hard at first. I cried a lot. Mainly over you, but also about being alone in a place I didn't know. I stayed at a hostel for the first two months. Then I found a job at a coffee shop that let me play, too. Then I connected with Kyle, and I started to slowly find my place. It hasn't been easy, but I don't regret it."

"I'm not angry anymore. And I'm happy you found a home, Alex. I really am. A real home and a real life for yourself are all I could ever want for you," Michael paused. "Back then, I just desperately wanted us to do that together. I guess I was a selfish asshole."

Alex made his final descent toward Michael, and when they were thigh to thigh, he reached his hand out to rest on Michel's knee. "You loved me, and you wanted to be with me. That's probably the best kind of selfish."

"You're not a coward," Michael sputtered. "You were brave to follow your dreams. And I meant what I texted you. I'm glad you got out of New Mexico and forged your own path. You're in charge of your destiny."

Alex felt an overwhelming desire to pull Michael into a kiss and melt in his strong arms like he had when he was seventeen. But he stopped himself, instead squeezing Michael's knee reassuringly. "I've missed you a lot. I compartmentalized it, but it was always there."

"What time are you leaving?"

The question startled Alex, as he wasn't expecting it, and he went to remove his hand, but Michael grasped it and placed it back on his knee. He glanced at his watch, realizing he did have to be going. "Soon. In fact, I should get going now."

Michael's face fell and crushed Alex's heart and his spirit. "Okay. Well, maybe this time we can keep in touch. I'd love to hear how you're doing."

Alex nodded and reluctantly untangled their hands so he could stand up. Michael did the same, and they walked to the door. Michael pulled on Alex's wrist just before he reached for the doorknob, and he turned around and fell into Michael's arms. Alex buried his head in Michael's neck, breathing all of him in and out in even breathes. He felt Michael running his hands up and down his back, and he felt a calmness pervade his senses. 

They stayed safe in each other's arms for what felt like an hour but was closer to a minute, and when Alex pulled away, Michael ducked his head to wipe at his eyes.

"We'll talk some more, okay?" Alex offered.

Michael couldn't meet his eyes but moved his head up and down. "Sure, sure."

"Bye, Michael," Alex said, opening the door and walking away.

***

Michael crumpled against the front door as soon as it shut, and he watched Alex walk away from him. Seeing Alex Manes walk away was a sight he never wanted to see ever again.

He reached into his pocket and started to dial Isobel, but as his finger hovered over the call button, he thought better of it. Isobel would jump in her car and drive to him in a second, and that wouldn't be right. He couldn't put her through what he did five years ago. Plus, he was an adult now, and he needed to learn how to handle hard emotions without having a complete meltdown, right?

It took all the strength he didn't have to pick himself up and make his way back to the couch, where he collapsed in a heap. He wanted to scream or cry, but instead, he just sat there feeling nothing but numbness and an overarching sense of pain radiating throughout his body and threatening to break him apart. He eventually closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would claim him for a few minutes and save him from himself.

Just when he started to drift into what he knew would be an intense Alex dream, a loud knock on the door jolted him awake. A loud expletive left his lips as he stalked over to the door.

When he opened it, he was ready to tell the offending party to leave, no matter who they were, but his mouth hung agape, words refusing to come to him when he looked into the eyes of Alex.

"I don't want to leave today. Can we keep talking?" Alex's eyes were red, and he looked nervous and clammy, but he was standing here in front of Michael as raw and as breathtaking as ever.

Still without words, Michael moved aside so Alex could walk back into the apartment. As Alex brushed by him, he took Michael's free hand and pulled him closer. Michael pushed the door closed and then took Alex's arm in his other hand. They stood in place, eyes on each other, until Michael snuck a peek at Alex's lips, a silent plea to be kissed.

Alex took the hint, and he leaned in to plant a quick kiss on Michael's waiting lips. It wasn't enough for Michael, and he surged forward to take Alex eagerly, lips, teeth, and tongues coming together in a way that felt so very familiar.

"I know this is a lot, but I just don't want to go yet. I don't want to lose you again," Alex whispered when he pulled away from Michael's slick mouth.

"You won't lose me. Not this time. I promise. I want to figure this out. I want to figure us out," Michael hissed back. "You're gonna be the death of me, Alex Manes."

Alex laughed as he went in for another kiss. "And you're gonna be the best thing that ever happened to me."

***

_Alex didn't want to be at The Crashdown waiting for Max and Isobel to show up with their brother from Santa Fe who was visiting for the summer, but Liz had bribed him with as many menu items as he could devour in one sitting if he stayed with her._

_She had told Max they could all hang out at the diner and hopefully make Michael feel a bit more comfortable in Roswell since he'd be there for the next four months roughly. And it would allow him to meet other kids his age and maybe even strike up some friendships outside the twins._

_Alex understood her intentions, and he loved her thoughtfulness, but he wasn't looking for friends. He was just fine sticking with his small circle._

_The longer they waited for the three to show up, the more Alex wanted to leave. And he almost got the nerve to tell Liz he was no longer hungry when the diner doors opened, and a tall, curly-haired angel walked through the door, all swagger and sex appeal. They did not make them like that in Roswell, New Mexico, which meant Alex knew this was Max and Isobel's brother, Michael. And damn, was he glad he decided to stay._

_"Liz!" Max yelled as he trailed in behind Isobel and the gorgeous new man._

_Liz pulled Alex along with her until the five of them were standing awkwardly near the restaurant's front. "Hey!"_

_"Alex and Liz, this is our brother, Michael Guerin!" Isobel said proudly, snaking her arms through Michael's._

_Alex wasn't sure what the other three were doing around him, as it felt like he and Michael were suddenly trapped in their own universe. They couldn't look away from each other, and when Michael smiled, Alex's heart quivered, and he smiled back brighter than he'd smiled at anyone or anything the whole of senior year._

_"Are you guys, okay?" Max's voice broke them both out of their trance and they both shyly (and begrudgingly) broke eye contact._

_Liz enveloped Michael in one of her warm hugs and then ushered them over to a booth so they could all get comfortable. It was later in the evening, and the dinner rush was gone, so they could pretty much do whatever and be as loud as they wanted to be._

_"Alex, why don't you put something on the jukebox?" Liz suggested before they sat down. "Play something good, please. Nothing too slow."_

_Alex rolled his eyes and walked over to the old-school machine, scanning the rows of songs and trying to locate a song that would appease Liz and not make him gag. He was there for a solid thirty seconds before he felt a hulking presence on his right side. Michael had a distinct smell, like the aftermath of a spring shower, and after one whiff, Alex knew he wanted to get lost in it._

_"You find anything yet?" He asked, leaning against the machine._

_"Not yet. I was commanded to find something good, whatever that means."_

_Michael laughed. "What about Semi-Charmed Life?"_

_"Eh. People always play that."_

_"Let me guess. Nineties pop-rock isn't your thing?" Michael smirked, and Alex thought that action alone should be a federal offense._

_"What makes you say that?"_

_Michael shrugged and continued to smirk. "Those tight jeans, that skull choker, and that eyeliner are saying a lot of things to me."_

_Alex had to assume his face was the color of a hothouse tomato. "Well, how about you pick something out, new guy? Pick something on here I'll want to hear."_

_"I love a challenge," Michael said, adding in a wink for good measure._

_Alex watched Michael examine the songs and hoped and prayed this perfect being would choose something he liked. Well, even if he didn't, Alex was pretty sure he was still going to find this man ridiculously charming and incredible._

_"Ah, I've got it. Tell me you don't love this song?"_

_Alex waited for the song to start, and when it did, he couldn't stop the soft laughter that escaped his throat. "Liz isn't going to like this."_

_"I'm much more interested in what you like," Michael said matter of factly, with a softness to his voice that set Alex's skin ablaze._

**_Ah-ooh, got you where I want you, yeah_ **

**_Ah-ooh, got you where I want you_ **

**_Where I want you, I want you, yeah_ **

**_"_ ** _You're gonna be the death of me, Michael Guerin."_

_"And you're gonna be the best thing that ever happened to me."_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading. And Happy Holidays to everyone!


End file.
